Chuck Norris Jokes

[EmperorStyleS2k]

Dunno if anyone is into Chuck Norris Jokes but some of them are pretty hilarious to me, so here's a couple...

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris can speak "Braille."

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Chuck Norris uses only one chopstick.

Chuck Norris survived an abortion.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris invented the sleeper hold while in college and used it as foreplay.

Ghosts are actually the result of Chuck Norris killing people faster than death can process them.

Chuck Norris lives in a haunted house and the ghosts tell stories about him.

Chuck Norris puts the 'fun' in funeral.

And last but not least...
Chuck Norris enjoys knitting sweaters, and by knitting I mean punching and by sweaters I mean babies.

lets see what you guys have!

[TGLucario]

Chuck Norris is so fresh...he's famous in uranus (it rhymes)

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

[EmperorStyleS2k]

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[SilentOne]

thank you for these. i always find them amusing